On the Road Again......with Rascal

I told a friend I would write this for her blog, however I'm missing my doggy tonight and this story is a big part of my life. With that in mind I decided I would share the story on my own blog as well. In the passage below is the story of my solo road trip with just my little Honda, my pup-kid Rascal, and myself. Destination: FL.

My husband Andrew had just left for our second deployment together, and I was a hot mess. We had already decided I would drive myself and our pup-kid Rascal to FL in February. The plan was to surprise my daddy for his birthday on Valentines Day. What ended up really happening will be something I'll never forget. Ready to go on the mental adventure with me? Cool, then let's go! *waves arm over shoulder*

A week before the first of February, I made a snap decision to leave at the start of the month. It would put me in FL 2 weeks ahead of schedule. I decided that this would be so much more fun to not tell ANYONE, and surprise them all.

I got the car all ready to go, packed myself and Rascal up for 2 months of stay, and early morning on February 1st, 2009, Rascal and I headed out. I didn't exactly have a "plan", but was going to drive as long as possible. Pulling our of our San Diego parking lot, I took a deep breath, looked at Rascal and said "Welp, pup, here we go".

Day 1- total driving time: 10hours
On Day one we left the house in San Diego about 6am or so. The Sun was just starting to peek up behind the clouds. Rascal made himself comfortable on the maps in the front seat, and I tried to focus on listening to the CDs I had pre-made for the trip.

After driving about two hours, I decided to stop for a drink and some gas. I called my friend at the time, Heather, and we talked and that conversation helped me power through to keep going. I'd never done anything like this before, so it was kind of scary.

I made it to Tuscan AZ about 1pm... I had hoped to drive until dark and then stop at a hotel. I had hoped to meet a friend who lived in the area for lunch but she was 'too busy' or lived to far away to make it in time so I decided to just grab gas and move on.

For the night, I stopped in El Paso, TX. I had driven all the way from CA through AZ, NM, and finally into TX. I was super proud of myself. Normally when I took road trips with Andrew, I couldn't drive more than 2hours without wanting to fall asleep. Rascal and I had dinner and I got a relaxing bath that night and then slept peacefully.

Day 2- total driving time: 10hours.
Rascal and I were on the road by 7am the next day. During this days trip we decided to stop and view the scenery and take in the area. We only stopped a few minutes but it was needed. At one time I had to pull over and take a short cat nap to refresh myself. While Rascal was an amazing companion, it was a boring, long journey.

We stopped for lunch and gas and kept on going. Rascal spent much of his time sleeping the whole way. He slept on top of the luggage in the back seat. This day, we made it as far as Houston TX.

Again, I was proud of us. 10hrs, 20hrs total in 2 days. That's mind blowing if you really know me. Rascal and I got another good dinner, this time at Crackle Barrel. (Of course Rascal impatiently waited for me back at the hotel while I got our order to go :) ).

That night, I talked to my dad and step mom. At this point, no one knew anything. My friends back home knew, and by this time Andrew knew I had left early....but no one in FL knew I was only 10hours away from them. I put up a good act to my dad and step mom, and they believed me.

After another relaxing bath, (I love those, can't ya tell?), Rascal and I curled up together and once again, got a good nights rest. Dreaming sweet dreams of the final leg of our journey that awaited us the next day.

Day 3- total driving time 10 hours
After a good, hotel-wise, breakfast and a new gas fill up we were on our way bright and early at 7am. I have to say this was my favorite part of the trip. On the third day we would go through the rest of TX which before leaving we got a picture of us in front of the TX sign, on to Louisiana  Mississippi, Alabama, and finally Florida.

I made it out of TX within about an hour. Then Louisiana was a lot of fun. We got stuck in a traffic jam where I sat singing to Rascal as he stared out the window wondering why I wasn't getting out because we were stopped. (Silly Boy!). Crossing the bayou was amazing, it reminded me of the times we used to go on truck runs with my daddy.

Mississippi and Alabama went by so fast I felt like I blinked 3 times and we were entering into FL. We decided to stop in Pensacola and took a picture in front of the FL sign. A nice elderly couple took one of me and my pup-kid.

That night, I arrived in my home city of Tallahassee around 8pm. I decided to stay at a hotel one last night, and go and surprise everyone when I was fresh the next day. We ordered a Pizza and settled in to wait. While we waited it was time for the last big "fake" call.

I called my dad and he asked how I was doing, I told him I was fine and that we had just ordered a pizza. Daddy was assuming I meant at home and not that we were less than 30mins from him. *excited little girls giggle*

I've never been able to keep a secret that long, and it was amazing. I made sure that he would be home in the AM because I wanted to "call him", and hung up saying I needed to get dinner eaten and into the bed.

SURPRISE DAY!!!!!!!!!!

On February 4th, 2009 I woke up to a chill Tallahassee morning. It was about 6:30am, and I showered and packed up the car. While I was packing up the Honda, these two men on motorcycles asked me to take a picture of them with their bikes. Back in FL, people are nice so of course I took the picture :). They asked me where I was heading and I filled them in on my plan.

These guys were amazed that I had driven so far, and wished me well. I realized I was shaking while talking to them, and it wasn't because of the cold weather. I was shaking from pure excitement.

Rascal and I make the final drive to my dads in Crawfordville FL. I follow the GPS to his house and park out front. I call him as I am pulling in and he answers with...

"You're up early" (back home in CA it was only about 3am). I told him yeah, that I had things to do that day and asked him what he was doing. He tells me that he's just getting up himself and having coffee.

I then ask him to look outside. He said "where" (sigh), "out front" I say.

He goes, "hold on, let me go to my bedroom because the windows in the living room are covered up" (how funny how much he shares hehehe.)

So he looks out and goes "I don't see anythin......I see you!!!!!!" I was like "Surprise"!

He then tells Mickie, my step mom that I'm outside. She didn't believe him. He told me to come to the back door, and so I did...I hear Mickie in the house saying "Doug, you are lying to me, Sarah isn't here". (*giggles*).

She then opens the back door and stands there for what felt like 45mins yelling, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" (*giggles*).....she then hugged me, and let me in the house.

Daddy was just inside the door waiting for me, with what I could swear were tears in his eyes. He hugged me for awhile and said it was good to see me.

Everyone else was excited too, but the reaction I got with my daddy and Mickie were priceless and they help make up the positive experience of this incredible journey I just completed.

Rascal and I only stayed a month of the two months that were planned. We decided to leave due to some unpleasantness but not before taking daddy to Golden Corral on his birthday in February, and him taking me on an "early birthday fishing trip".

I miss home, but I've come to realize that life only happens when you get out there and make it happen. Sitting in a small town waiting for the wave to catch you, will only get you so far. Life is a blessing that is created, not given.

Gray Hair...

Greetings everyone! That's right, I found a gray hair today. Not cool. I'm only 28! So it got me thinking about how fast life passes you by. Sometimes the enjoyments, laughter, tears and heartache all get ripped out from under you before you can even figure them out. Then the stress comes and that's how you get the gray hair.

I'm tired tonight, haven't been sleeping well. So my word of advice for today: Make it all count. The good, bad, ugly and beautiful. Embrace your life despite the bad, because you never know when the chance won't be back around again.

Have a great evening!

The Statement

This is what I want to give to the Family Advocacy to read during the hearing next month. The hearing is to determine if the CDC at 32nd street should be held accountable for neglect from when my daughter got hurt.

Fear, Worry, Hurt, Confusion, Anger, Loss of Trust. These are just a few of the emotions that my family and I have endured the past Five months.

As a Mother, you try to do the very best for your children, no matter how hard those choices you make for them end up being. Our decision to put our daughter in daycare was difficult. I battled with it for months before finally being OK enough to try it. I've waited a very long time, and went through so much to finally have the baby I always wanted. Putting her in daycare was difficult, but I felt that we would both benefit from it. I have never been more wrong than I was when I trusted those at the 32^nd street CDC.

Our daughter was barely in there a week before she came home with a swelling on the side of her head. In the days, weeks and month that followed, that soft to the touch bump, would begin to make her head look like she had a tumor.

We did what we were suppose to do with this. The moment we noticed the bump, we dropped everything and went to the ER. I called the CDC on our way and asked if anything happened. I didn't get an “oh my, I'm so sorry”, I got a “hold on, I'll ask the teacher, nope nothing happened”. I never got any sympathy for my daughter from those at the CDC. No, “let me know if there is anything I can do”, no, “I'm so sorry, let me go check the video tape and we will get to the bottom of it”. No phone calls to check up on her. NOTHING.

When I asked to see the video tape, I was told I had to write a letter requesting to see it. Which, once again, I did what I was suppose to. I wrote the letter there. Weeks of unanswered phone calls, I finally get hold of the director and was told the tapes were sent to the legal department. Red Flag #1.

Once again, months of unanswered phone calls and emails, and I finally get a letter in the mail and an email stating, “we are investigating, we'll let you know”. There was NO sense of urgency NOTHING. 4 months after the incident, I finally contact Family Advocacy and we get a meeting. Shortly after the first visit with Family Advocacy, we are told “the video tape was not working, or messed up, or etc that day”. Red Flag # 2.

I lost 2 job offers because I had to pull my daughter from this daycare. I have lost sleep, stressed over the fact that ALL I wanted from this is to find out what happened to my daughter. I had CPS come to my home and question me and my husband to see if WE hurt our child. Can you even imagine how low that made me feel. A Mother who loves her child with every ounce of my being, to see my child get looked over. To be questioned as to weather me or my husband have harmed her.

Let's not forget the 20 minutes we had to stay outside the X-Ray room during her overnight stay at the hospital, listening to her scream while they held her down to do a full body X-Ray because CPS was involved.

I was given a word limit, and am not “allowed” to be in this meeting. So you will never know the emotion that this letter should portray. You are meeting today to determine if there was in fact neglect occurring in this case. I believe there was.

The CDC neglected to allow me to view the video tape from the week my daughter was hurt. The CDC neglected to show even a slight ounce of sympathy for the fact that my daughter left their care with a small non-displaced fracture. The CDC neglected to follow up with us about how our daughter was doing. The CDC neglected to stay in contact with us about the status of the videos. The Legal department for the CDC also neglected to inform me that the video was no longer available and the reason why. CPS neglected to return my phone call when I told them about the video being sent to the legal department. And now that the video was destroyed, I can only assume it was because the CDC and those who were in charge of the care of my daughter, neglected us. I can only hope, no matter what is decided today, that those who continue to send their innocent children to the 32^nd street facility, will know about the lack of care and the neglectful nature of this place, and refrain from subjecting their children to this facility and those who work there.  

Picture of Keira in the hospital

A New Day...

Greetings everyone!

I just wanted to pop in real quick and say I wish you the best tomorrow. May your smiles shine brighter, and your motivation soar through the roof.

Lots of Love,
Sarah